Sarah’s Journey: Divorce, Support, and Renewal
Sarah, a 41-year-old mother of two, first reached out to Tulia in June 2020 after seeking prayer and guidance through Freedom Ministry. Struggling with the emotional fallout from her marriage and the challenges of single parenting, she found solace in a women's support group, which allowed her to express her feelings and gain valuable insights into her situation. As she navigated her divorce, she recognized the need for both her and her children to seek therapy and worked on strengthening her faith and personal resilience. Through the support received, Sarah gained confidence in managing legal matters and overcame her fears about solicitors. Grateful for her experience, she actively recommends the service to others, hoping to help those who may be hesitant to share their struggles. Sarah has embraced her new chapter in life, finding hope and healing through community and prayer.
How did you first hear about Tulia ?
Through Freedom Ministry I needed people to pray with me, and through the prayer line and I was signposted to more support. Then I first got in contact with Tulia in June 2020.
What was your situation like before?
I was dealing with everything that had happened with my marriage. Ultimately, I didn’t want to fight with someone anymore. So, with prayer I started the journey.
When you go through a break-up sometimes all you’re able to do is just sit down, before you even wonder how you’ll get through this.
What steps did Tulia take with your situation?
I was put in a sister and ladies support group to connect and have people to talk to. It makes you realise that you’re not on your own. Being in community with those women gives you somewhere to rant to, to unpack your emotions or confront them before automatically engaging in an argument with your ex.
That self-introspection was so beneficial to me to address where I was and where am I. How I contribute into my children’s lives and all of the teaching Tulia has provided was an eye-opener. I’ve got two kids also going through this divorce and it's had a big effect on them. Now that dad is not there, and the fixed roles we all had have been lost, they feel it’s harder to listen to me. Some of the disciplines of our lives has left to make space for greater things to come, but I worry about them.
I’m finding single-parenting really challenging at the minute and the boys— the youngest one is 11, though he thinks he’s 21 in his head is really struggling. I do come from a big family but they don’t all live around or close by. It helped when we spent the Christmas holidays at my uncle’s house for example.
I thought I was only healing myself but I have sign-posted my kids to therapy too. They’ve only just started but I think it will be good for them as other family dynamics with extended family change and grow with their dad’s side. It's hard knowing how to address extended family and people, especially when you were married for long, and to do that with respect and dignity to those who are part of that family.
What improvements or highlights have there been?
I feel so rooted in Christ even while opening up a lot of other wounds. Even wounds that I grew up with, made me look more into why I am the person that I am.
I’ve become more of aware of things the other half does or how emotionally tries to manipulate me or put me in an angry or mean place. I don’t have to still be in that space, I know when to react. The way I conduct myself has become much stronger.
I don’t have to be afraid of solicitors anymore! Or the drafts and proposals solicitors come up with. I was advised that mediation would be best during my divorce. I was married 16 years, and we have a property together, a joint mortgage, so I got the advice that I needed to prepare for managing that. That was really helpful for me because I didn’t even know how to seek the right legal.
Tulia even delivered a food hamper to me and I would love to give to others they’ve given to me and volunteer in that way too.
Would you recommend the service to others?
I’ve already signposted a few people and scouting for more people who I now would benefit.
Sadly, people are not always forthcoming, not everybody likes talking but I feel that more people are becoming vocal post-covid about what they may be going through in marriage. Everybody’s stories may be different, there can be different reasons why divorce happens, but there’s no shame in any of it. As friends my ex and made good sense but not in marriage. I turned 40 and my marriage broke up and this my new chapter-maybe this will become clear in the future when I look back and I hold onto that hope. I hold onto that.
In which ways could Tulia’s services improve?
I can’t really falter it really, the thing is when you have people praying with you, you can do anything. I never used to wake up at six in the morning, let alone to just pray, but I think it’s in that moment that I found my solace. I would wake myself up naturally, not with a big effort which was an added bonus and I think that quiet discipline tames you, because the angry person in you gets to settle down.
Please note: The names and identifying details of the clients featured in these testimonials have been anonymized to protect their privacy and confidentiality.
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